Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn - Season 3 Episode 9

Rowan.

“Is Noah coming?” my mother asks me.

1

“Not today, mom. I forgot to let Ava know, and I didn’t want to spring this on her all of a sudden,” I tell her

as I walk into Kate’s home.

It was our monthly get–together. Just like the last one, I didn’t want to be here. The only reason I was there was because I’d promised Mom that I would attend.

“I’ve missed him so much, and so has Kate. She really wanted to see

him.” She pauses. “Now that she

and Ava are estranged, the only time she gets to see Noah is during these get–togethers.”

I wanted to feel sorry for her, but I don’t. That makes me a bastard, sure, but I believe that we were all

getting what we deserved. This was our punishment for how we treated Ava.

“Maybe next time,” I say as I walk past her.

Mom and Kate have been friends for years. She would do anything for her best friend. The last thing I

want or need is to stand there for almost thirty minutes just listening to how Kate was suffering.

I didn’t need to hear about someone else’s suffering when I was dealing with one of my own.

She follows me as I make my way to the backyard. I know Kate’s home like the back of my hand. After all, they’ve lived here for years. This is the same house where Ava and I got married. The same house she tried to escape when she found out she was pregnant with Noah.

I stop dead in my tracks. Mom, who was following behind me, collides with my back.

“What the hell, Rowan?” she asks, but I don’t turn around. Nor do I answer.

She comes to my front when I don’t answer. My eyes stare at her, unseeing.

“Rowan? What is it?”

My throat bobbles as I try to form the words.

1 just remembered the day I caught Ava trying to escape. Looking back now, I can’t imagine how my life. would have turned out had she managed to escape me.” I tell her.

Rowan, darling Don’t think about such things. It didn’t happen and we should be grateful to God for that.”

sigh, remembering how foolish I had been

“Ava was eighteen and scared, mom. She begged me to let her go because, deep down, she probably knew that I would destroy her if she stayed, and I did. I broke her heart more times than I can count. Right now, I don’t know what to even think. Part of me wishes I had let her go because maybe she wouldn’t be as broken as she is right now; the other parts is grateful I’d stopped her because I wouldn’t have gotten to know Noah or the wonderful woman she is.”

The crushing weight that descends on me every time I remember all I put her through is almost

unbearable. I should have tried harder, maybe then I wouldn’t have this much regret weighing down on

me.
“You’re taking too much on your shoulders, Rowan. Sure, you hurt her, but you forget that we all played our roles in breaking her. Both families have a hand in destroying her heart. You’re not the only one to blame for her broken pieces.” Mom puts a hand around my forearm, trying to comfort me.

“Your mother is right.” I turn to find my father standing next to the sliding doors.

“We all played our part in hurting, Ava. We forgot that she came into our lives as a tiny baby girl. We forgot how much joy she brought us. We forgot how she used to make us all laugh. We forgot that she was a girl who needed our love. That is on us. We were the parents, and you children followed our lead. We shunned her, and so you followed suit. If anyone is to blame, then it’s us. We failed as adults and that is

on us,” he finishes, clasping my shoulder in a tight grip.

I know what they said was meant to make me feel better, but it doesn’t. The rest mainly ignored Ava and

treated her like she was invisible. I did worse. So much F***ing worse, and that shit is all on me. 1

I give them a small smile. I didn’t want to dwell on this for long.

Mom must have believed me because she takes my hand in hers.

“Come on, let’s go before the others start wondering what’s taking us so long,” she says, pulling me along

while dad follows behind.

I internally groan when I spot Emma. I knew she would be here, but knowing and seeing are two different things.